pos·ter·i·ty/päˈsteritē/: Dealing with the posterior, particularly pains in that region.
In my attempts to gain universal recognition (sometimes known as 'fame') and infinite wealth (occasionally refered to as 'filthy rich'), I have discovered many an interesting thing about selling your own book online (sometimes called, 'ePublishing'). I thought it would be interesting to talk about my journey on here on a regular basis.
Okay, now before you get all glassy-eyed and screensaver on me, I plan to make this as interesting as possible for everyone. And hopefully my experience will help anyone out there thinking of doing the same thing. If not, screw you guys. I can look back at these posts and smile fondly as I use $100 bills as coasters.
So, I thought I would start by explaining what I have done so far.
I have, *fanfare* written a novel.
Yes, I know. There are billions of people writing novels these days. Why do I think I will be successful? Well, lets do this mathematically. Let's say one million people have written books this year. Of those one million people, probably one hundred thousand of them are bat-shit insane. These are the 'manifesto' types. Many of them live in Montana or Wyoming. Some are unibomber types. Others come from the high-powered rifle club. Some are just sad, hoarding types with tin foil on their heads. Our equation so far:
1,000,000 - BSI = 900,000
This guy wrote a book.
Okay, so, of those nine hundred thousand left, about three-quarters just aren't capable of writing a novel. This is due to what I call Expertitis. Expertitis is a disorder that makes people believe they are capable of doing anything they want without any training whatsoever as long as they put a few days of effort into it. Expertitis is rampant in the U.S.. I have a friend who thought he could be an NFL tight end if he worked at it for a few months. No high school football. No college ball. Just a mad case of Expertitis.
Don't get me wrong, writing a good novel can come naturally to a very few people. And it can come with a lot of hard work to the rest of us. You need to write every day. You need to join a writer's group. You need to make writing your highest priority. Without a lot of hard work, you are not going to write a good novel. Period. (Or a good period novel, for that matter.)
P90X and some boots will make this woman a firefighter.
Equation so far:
(1,000,000 - BSI) / Expertitis = 157,500
Okay, we've talked about mental stability and work ethic. Now comes the big one. Skill. Let me preface this one by saying that I am not having an Ego Waffle. I don't consider myself to be a Tolkien or a Hemmingway or a George R. R. Martin. But I do have a lifetime of skills that I have acquired through hard work. I wrote all through high school and college. I was a news reporter for four years, a magazine writer for two and a magazine editor for two. I run a writers' group. I write every day. I have written so much that writing, proper writing, is as natural to me as skating is to a professional hockey player. I don't have to think about the writing, I just do it. That's not to say that all of my writing is spectacular, or even good. But most of it will be fundamentally sound. And that is the major roadblock to all writers just starting out. They must become intimate with the language, and know it so well that they don't have to think about it. I'm not saying you have to write professionally before you can be a good writer. I'm not saying that you can't write a good book within a year or two without any previous experience. I'm saying you have to write *a lot*. And you have to keep writing *a lot*. Or you have to get ridiculously lucky. But it's a lot easier to just play the lottery if you are going to rely on luck.
I hate using quotes when I don't know who said them, but a good one comes to mind by one of the sci-fi authors (Bradbury or Sagan or Clarke, maybe). He said that a writer doesn't gain proficiency until he has written one million words (or something like that). And I truly believe that.
So of all the writers we have left, I would say ninety percent just don't have the skill (yet) necessary to put out a well-written novel. I'm not snobbing. I, myself, may not have the skill necessary yet. You never really know, do you? And, yes, there are many published books that are not well written. And many e-published books that are not well written and have done ridiculously well. But these, I believe, are the exception. I want to believe that skill, hard work and a gift for storytelling will lift the best writers to the top. I don't know if I belong there yet, but I know I have the foundation and perseverance to give it a good shot.
"Almost there..."
Equation:
(1,000,000 - BSI) / Expertitis / Skill = 15,750
That leaves about sixteen-thousand people to compete against. Divide that in half for fiction versus non-fiction. That leaves about eight-thousand writers who are self-publishing. Divide by twenty for all the different genres and that leaves less than four hundred. Starting to look a little rosier, no?
(1,000,000 - BSI) / Expertitis / Skill / Fict / Genre = 393
I also have some skill in graphic- and web-design (earned through fifteen years as a graphic designer, not Expertitis). This allows me to design a passable cover and market my book through SEO and social media with more skill than the average writer. I have other advantages too. I can juggle. I can fly a plane. I play a mean game of quarters. I'm sure I can find others.
I'm not sure how accurate all of those numbers are. Probably wildly inaccurate. Most likely this is all just a way for me to encourage myself through the process. Something to fool me into continuing this quest. And I think we all need things to keep us going. Writing is hard enough without all the doubts and setbacks we have to face on our road to fame and filthy richness. Or wherever it is we are headed.
Do any of you have thoughts on this? Do you agree? Disagree? I'm interested in hearing it.
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